They are playing your song

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THEY'RE PLAYING YOUR SONG

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out
into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate
until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has
its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the
women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the
tribe and teach it to everyone else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song
to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers
and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation
to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of
marriage, the person hears his or her song.

Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and
friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and
they sing the person to the next life.

When I have shared this story in my lectures, a fair amount of people in
the audience come to tears. There is something inside each of us that
knows we have a song, and we wish those we love would recognize it and
support us to sing it. In some of my seminars I ask people to verbalize to
a partner the one phrase they wish their parents had said to them as a
child. Then the partner lovingly whispers it in their ear. This exercise
goes very deep, and many significant insights start to click. How we all
long to be loved, acknowledged, and accepted for who we are!

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers
sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person
commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the
center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around
them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the
correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the
remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no
desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have
forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made
or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you
feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you
feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

If you do not give your song a voice, you will feel lost, alone, and
confused. If you express it, you will come to life. We attract people on a
similar wavelength so we can support each other to sing aloud. Sometimes
we attract people who challenge us by telling us that we cannot or should
not sing our song in public. Yet these people help us too, for they
stimulate us to find greater courage to sing it.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you
at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are
in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good what you
are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't.

In the end, we should all recognize our song and sing it well. You may
feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers.
Just keep singing and you'll find your way home.

By Alan Cohen